yi chuan shi, shi chuan bai
that's the famous chinese saying. one spreads to ten and ten spreads to a hundred.

i look at the people around me and i look at school, and it amazes me that guys are doing what is normally attributed to girls. gossip. the power of the tongue. the destructive power of that little organ. you can never take back something you say. never ever ever ever ever ever (sorry, all saints song came to my mind). but then again, i realized another important truth. suspicion and doubt mean nothing without concrete evidence. all the speculation of the world brings us nowhere, unless we hear it from the proverbial horse's mouth.

i'm rather miffed when people like to talk to me in real life about my blog. which is rather blah really. a blog's an online thing, leave it for the online lives when we chat and crap on msn or icq or wherever, not in school when we're trying to master a killer applications of differentiation question or write a descriptive essay on the rush hour. when in school, don't bring our petty civilian lives in.

it's just that i feel the blog speaks for itself. what you see here, is all you need to know. there's nothing more to ask and nothing more to clarify. i'm not obliged to open my life up to you, [general you], i'm really not. don't ask, don't tell. you don't have to know anything extra. after all, the blog is a superficial thing. i'm here to feed you little souls what you think you can dig out of my life, which i almost made a mistake of.

i know i used a lot of riddles and i used a lot of symbolism, but that kills many braincells which i need. it's getting very tiresome. i know people are allowed to their own thoughts and to make their own conclusions and conjectures. after all, men construe things after their own fashion, even though sometimes things might be staring them in the face.

i know people are reading. am i satisfying you? [i drive my mini cooper and i'm feeling super duper yo they tell me i'm a trooper and you know i'm satisfied. oops. american life flopped on the charts.] i guess i'm not satisfying you. i'm not really comfortable with the world being here reading my little heart but it's something i have to learn and adapt to.

people aren't as stupid as i presume they are. sometimes riddles get solved and then i'd be left in a deep pile of shit.

but for now, i concur with edwardo. the public is a baby. indeed. i find nothing wrong with the rjc 'controversy' cos i think the teacher wasn't wrong, and neither was the boy who filmed. the principal said that the boy 'betrayed' the teacher, but that's really ridiculous. the school is a public place. [HAH only when rj becomes independent in 2005 can they say that the classroom should be PRIVATE. ok nvm]

the public is not just a baby, it's stupid. methodist churches all going wild in rage cos they think singapore's going all unpure and unethical and going against nature and condoning lives of homosexuality. hello. these 'gay civil servants' might be someone you know. ri boys become leaders right? well 1 in 4 ri boys are gay in the first place. or at least, they were when they were in a testosterone-laden environment glorifying "strong and rugged raffles, mighty mighty raffles" sheesh they almost make him sound like a sex god when he died of some stupid illness at 35 or 45 years old. who knows what pm was like when he was in the swim team like 40 years ago? but then again, of course they weren't exposed to evils last time. they were nice pure innocent boys and they would do nothing of the sort. [stop those wandering minds drifting towards evil!]

then again, i'm very liberal, so such things don't faze me at all. hah.if singapore wants to become some international hub she better learn to be less conservative soon. gosh.

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albar says that we are supposed to be young and fresh and bubbling and not be cynical. hah. but didn't i just display cynicism at its best? haha.. the prejudices of adults, thinking that only they can be cynical, that it is their perogative, and we are not entitled to it.

i'm sorry, the world's a dangerous place, much more dangerous than it ever was when you people were my age, and i've learnt to adapt, and i've grown up much quicker than i ever should. give me my rights to cynicism now.

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on a lighter and more hopeful note, since i'm supposed to bend to her views on teenagers, common test is tomorrow and prelims are in like 30+ days and i'm SO gonna do well !!! yay !!! so happy !!! i'll go rjc and then to army and then to uni and then to marry then have baby then go crazy then die 'laedy. [dang i'm good at rhyme and rhythm] YAY !!!!! LIFE IS SO COOL AND IT'S SO FUN !!!!! IT SO ROCKS LIKE TOTALLY !!!

yeah right.
quixoticka eulogized @ 7:01:00 pm