i think i'm emotionally dependent. on friends, on acquaintances, on close loved ones. on anyone and everyone. i'm just this huge bundle of emotions. though i wish it'd be a huge bundle of something else, but never mind that. this must be my biggest weakness.

I want the good life
But I don't want an easy ride
What I want is to work for it
Feel the blood and sweat on my fingertips
That's what I want for me

school's starting in a few days. now just yesterday i was all pumped up for it, and now im not so sure i wanna go. i think we all fall into this vicious, and i do mean vicious with a capital V, cycle of wanting and not wanting it, and sometimes we delude ourselves about what we want or really want, and we get mixed up. and the whole equation's just one big huge freakin' mess. now if you know what i'm talking about, kudos to you, cos i don't know what i'm talking about, though it's probably meant for you who deciphered the rubbish. order in disorder.

I want to know everything
Maybe someday I will
What I want is to find my place
Breathe the air and feel the sun on my children's face
That's what I want

cycles and circles. i'm no stranger to that. i keep falling into it it gets damn irritating. and this ain't no perpetual motion newton's physics crap, but the driving force is procrastination. tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after the day after tomorrow, and so on and so forth. the usual. it sucks. it fucking sucks. but no way am i getting out of it. i can't unless i break the cycle and don't wait anymore for that time period because once it's there ya can't stop it..... maybe next year then.

I go round and round just like a circle
I can see a clearer picture
When I touch the ground I come full circle
To my place and I am home
I am home

will school be fun? i don't know about that. will we all die tomorrow? i don't know that either. will the human nature remain the same? YES. we find excuses, and we bitch, and we rant about others and we always think other people are wrong. never ourselves. we come up with loads of cock-n-bull crap just so that we look fine and "above-it-all". oh well, it's just human nature, and i'm not sorry. whatever !

i really like grandtheftauto. it's as the mag quote said, a mafioso masterpiece. sure, it's an old game, but it's still fun. FFX is fine too, but not as entertaining. it gets silly after awhile. the producers were so caught up in new stuff and new voices and new graphics and new design but they forgot the fundemental gameplay. so far after 1 hour+ of playing i've only killed less than 20 enemies. hoorah! and i have no idea as to WTF is going on. ooooh everything was just about the graphics, but the gameplay is terrible. give me any other FFs any day. i hope X-2 isn't as shitty. ps2 is good, better than the PC as a console.

I want to let go of all disappointment that's waiting for me
What I want is to live forever
Not defined by time and space
It's a lonely place
That's what I want for me

school? bring it on!
quixoticka eulogized @ 11:49:00 pm