i used to think this place was popular. haha but i'm wrong. no one even visits this shitdump. no one tells me they're here. not even my close friends who i know read, but don't leave any clue that they've been here.

i feel like i've just died. things were going really fine for me throughout the whole of this year. and then everything started crashing down on friday. my ideals, my hopes and everything. i've finally felt all the rubbish fullforce here. it's really disgusting, it's really terrible.

think with the end in mind. yes i did, but not with that end that has manifested itself now. and in front of everyone too. and i'm not acting when i say all of this. i'm doing some shitty scout sol.eila dance as i mutter all of this.

hah so what am i supposed to say now, of course i'd be jealous of people who get nice messages to hang through and whatever, but now if they do, or even IF they do, it would be because i whined for it and not cos they actually want to.

ahh, screw it. all the deviousness, all the lies and all the FUCK.ING. CRE.DIT. STEA.LING.

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE STEAL MY STUFF.

I AM A HUGE PROPONENT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS.

and let me tell you, you aren't that smart and i'm sick of your showing off ways, and your rubbish, and your whatever. you're going DOWN.

i guess the rafflesian spirit decided that i'd been standing at the top of the cliff for too long staring down into the shit in the mud in the valley down below and decided to give me a big fat hard kick into it to fall splat on my face 30 miles down.

but do you know what disgusts me the most? it's myself. there's absolutely nothing great, and one stupid compre means jackshit. and a sudden thought, which struck me today when i was waiting at buon.avista mrt, totally shocked me. it totally went against everything i believed in. hah ! and self-censure ensued. oh well, thank god and all the powers that be that i was too busy with my beration that i didn't actually carry it out. whatever lah.

when you're down, there's no way but up. and besides, it isn't that down lah. i'll make it. because i make sacrifices for the team! (rubbish) and i'm just soo utterly small. all i need to do is pull off a willi.amhung, and i'll be a big star.
quixoticka eulogized @ 10:58:00 pm