i guess with this post onwards i have to be careful what i blog, since i've decided to go public with my life. as in, truly public.

but still. this will be the only exception.

to all asking, NO i did not make it into council.
and NO i am not feeling well.
how the fuck would you feel.

what, did you think that was just some walk in the park? you think going up to 88 just to get cut down is some joke? in that case, i'd rather have gotten eliminated after the interviews and fade immediately into anonymity rather than in everyone's faces.
you blocks, you stones you worse than senseless shitheads.

what the hell's the point of giving me empty comfort.
faction, is rubbish. and we all know it. of course i'll still try for it, but...

"oh don't worry you'll surely make it. i'm sure lots of people voted for you" - the stock reply from the random friend/acquaintance you found out didn't vote for you.
well smartasses. if everyone thought the same way, we sure wouldn't have ANYONE entering, would we? i hate that type of comment. it's unfair, it's selfish for me to say this. but when it came down to it, for a friend to pull through, yet in the end forget to. and make such statements. it really rubs you off the wrong way. all the people whom i thought would, didn't. all the little things make a difference, huh.

I HATE EMPTY COMFORT. there's nothing in it. it's just hypocritical.

i guess most of the fault lies in me choosing a lousy campaign group. and letting myself be overwhelmed and dominated by negativity and lethargy. i should have just struck it alone.
or perhaps that quite a few of my friends weren't here anymore to support me. they were elsewhere.
a life lesson i've learnt, that's very important. is to cut out the cancer.

what pisses me off most is that i didn't try hard enough, and i know it.
and that i don't look good enough. just look at some of the people inside. it's not something i can change, but good looks really go a long way in life.
and other things, among others. not really knowing many people from before.

and whats the point of saying, "oh the interviewers saw something in you." well my dear friend. clearly, the school population didn't. and as long as they don't. whatever the interview panel thinks is just plain jackshit.

and yes, i do want everyone in the whole damn wide world to see this.

council is a popularity contest, no doubt about that. that's why i lost out. cos no one likes the ugly weird freak. no one does.

and what about all the friends that i'll miss, that i won't see as often anymore - due to them moving "up in the world" with tons of things to do and me stuck here. i'll be so alone. sigh. ahh whatever. needed something worthwhile to do, to fill up my time with. all gone.

everyone's got their own life. i have none. and it isn't just about that anyway.

forget it. why am i exposing my cuts for the world to spray salt at?
all i know that it would SERIOUSLY piss me off to see any councillor slacking. and i don't think it'd look nice at all.
you're in, so fucking prove you deserve to be in.
quixoticka eulogized @ 9:29:00 pm