i am in major trouble. i HAVE to catch onto the second growth spurt of puberty. although i might have missed the train 2 years ago, who knows. but i so need it badly. i am short, by male standards. i'm not even 1.7m tall. certain body parts (like my hands and feet, what were you thinking) are stuck at the same size as they were a few years ago. so is my height, which has stagnated at this level since sec1. goodie.

and here i am going at INSANE sleep cycles of 0-3 hours of sleep on certains nights and then sleeping for 3/4 of the day on alternates. this start stop shock shlock isn't doing my body any good. i look like 16 (the aunty next door asked me the other day, sec4 right?) but i feel like 60 inside. i get tired easily. i get lethargic. i run 2.4 at ridiculous timings that i'd never have dreamt possible.

this all means, that i need to exercise, pronto. i should have followed hadri when he was still fat and pudgy, but he's too fast to catch up with now. i need someone else who is still OUT OF SHAPE! anyone out there who wants to go with me? need someone on the same level or worse (if that's even possible!).. if not i'd just feel freaking demoralised and give up after say.. 275m.

and what am i doing here? blogging. wahahahahaha. i should chat less, really. it's killing me. and promos are in 4 weeks, i just realised! fuck!

anyway i need someone to motivate me to study, as well as pump my head up with all the shortcuts and tricks and tips to the subjects so that i have to spend less time studying. ok fat hope!

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i'm still rather irritated by you. i don't know why. but i feel somewhat betrayed by the whole affair. do not touch that part of my life. it is mine, and mine alone. i will go through it myself, and occasionally when i need advice, i will seek it from you. but otherwise, keep out. i will navigate through the milkywhite sea on my own.

the virtual is not the literal. it is for you but i do not believe it for me. it cannot exist. it cannot happen. it cannot be true. for once it does, all bets are off and everything will change. and who knows how and how much. leave it as it is now, simmering and bubbling where we are all comfortable with it.

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i have utterly fallen in love with "the longest time" which is supposedly by billy joel. or who knows who really sang the original. who cares? a capella is heavenly delicious. whatever the case is, it makes me love american/singapore/whatever idol so much more! because they always give the guy groups that song. and it makes me happy when i hear it, so there. such harmony, such soul, such emotion! the lyrics flow together nicely too.. with the "longest time" applying to so many things! doesn't really apply to my current state definitely, but it does not matter! good songs are good songs. ah i'm mad. i shall try to put it on the blog, although claudia would kill me. maybe i'll just kope timmy's html.. haha. but then again, she doesn't really come here.. so i guess it would be alrite. =P males who can sing well are my current idols~! woooooo~!!!

CHORUS
Whoa oh oh oh
For the longest time
Whoa oh oh
For the longest...

If you said good-bye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do?
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

CHORUS

I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on?
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself - "Hold onto your heart"
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Whoa oh oh oh
For the longest time
(Repeat and fade)

it's so sweet.

quixoticka eulogized @ 2:59:00 am