i feel squandered. SQUANDERED. not wasted, not robbed. but SQUANDERED. but i shouldn't have expected anything less from these holidays. looking at it, i think the distractions of people aren't as strong as the allure of the computer (this very entry is the ocular proof of my lack of self-control and discipline). should have tried going to school, or outside, or somewhere to study. but it's kinda too late to say that now. why am i getting lazier and lazier as i grow older? i used to be an industrious, hardworking little boy. whoopie.

i'm beginning to think that conscientiousness is the key. looking at things now, i don't think i'm really that smart. i just had good retention value, and finished my homework everyday. but as the years go by, this sponge of my brain loses its water-holding tendencies. either that, or i've just never improved. i'm always stuck on this level, on a plateau. sigh, peaked too early, and now i'm on my way down. bad, bad. ok, i shall stop trying to pinpoint the reason for my decline on this public domain.

geewhiz. i just realised that it's september eleventh today. the third anniversary.

after trying to play around with the template the other day (without even adding the music!), and subsequently getting grilled by claudia, i've come to the conclusion that i'm just an IT klutz. i bulldoze and mow my way through clumps of HTML, uprooting tags and trying to transplant those grass patches of lingo. only realising afterwards that it's the wrong climate, and my roses have wilted in that arid weather.

Project Work is Practically Worthless.

i've finally watched my first full episode of Sg Idol in a long time. and i'm disappointed that Beverly didn't make it! Luckily there's wildcard. Jerry (puke) and Taufik (doubletriplequadruple puke) ?!? Well, at least the minah didn't make it. The one who replied to Gurmit that "i feel elevated... like Dick said" after Dick commented that "you transformed an elevator song" i won't stand for an idiot representing singapore! queen of soul, evidently.. but not queen of brain.

damnit. and even though i was a "big spender" of one dollar, that stick-thin slutty vaudeville-wannabe still didn't make it. shucks, i'm such a sucker for chicago-esque numbers. and maia lee looked like she was playing the flute/recorder with the flying fingers on the mike whilst she was singing!!

ah well. i wanna watch The Terminal! it looks so sweet. romantic screwball comedies.

after gruelling through 300+ pages, i've finally laboured through lolita, which is a somewhat satisfying read all the way to the end. especially the climax (no pun intended), which is darkly funny in its description. lots of description to plough through, but its worth it. sometimes you can't help but wonder though if vladimir nabokov purposely structured his words so that any page could be used for a PC essay.

i could do what you want me to do, if you do what i want you to do first.

i'm psyched! the reality junkie in me is happily dying in an overdose of the best the reality genre has to offer. till the end of this year at least. to satisfy my varying voyeuristic delights, there's a whole gamut on. which hasn't happened in a rather long time. singapore idol is well under way, and we'll have about 10 weeks of it at least. hopefully bev comes in next week. amazingrace5 is getting feisty but it's ending, no matter since amazingrace6 will be coming up very soon. like, one week after 5 ends. according to axn commercials, that is. YIELD! too fast! then there's the apprentice. which is heating up too (although poor troy's gonna be hailing a yellowtop soon). BUT 2 is already showing in the US! i'll get my grubby hands on those episodes! and then there's SURVIVOR premiering next week (my perennial favourite!) vanuatu! voodoo! volcanoes! cannibalism! EIGHTEEN instead of SIXTEEN! more slutting! but shucks, this is a bad sign. i can't remember all of them this time round, before the show begins. maybe it's my slightly waning interest, but i hope not. undeniably and indisputably the king of reality. just for fun, i shall support the 2 lesbians this time. and of course the one who looks like britney. and who can forget the simple life 2? which isn't playing on tv, but matin's burning the whole series for me. nicole richie as a fat floating turtle!! woohooo!

and what a bad time to come too, 3 weeks before promos.

quixoticka eulogized @ 4:25:00 pm