things to settle first. i will not be in singapore for a day or so. will be back around monday afternoon. so don't bother looking for me. mom's last minute decision to go to malaysia, and why not? maybe i'll get some shopping done this time. but then again, what can you get in BP?

secondly, 1E people i know you read this: just a reminder, or an announcement for those who were absent or just never pay attention. there is an economics makeup lesson, on tuesday, at 10am, and is most probably in lt2.

pon at your own risk.

with that settled..

my brother telling me to "just go to church lar" is such a sadly ironic line. it's kinda funny too lar, in a pathetic way. he says that not out of concern for my salvation, but because with me gone it means no more obstacles to the computer and the internet.

singapore is such a pragmatic place. constantly preoccupied with survival, there's an obsession with change and renewal and revival. but sometimes it just doesn't cut it, you know? the means have become the ends, just like those in kuno and vashti's time. what's the point of altering the status quo when it was perfectly fine?

uprooting- with the tearing down of facades (real ones, pun somewhat intended) and collapsing of buildings and structures, we remove old ones to replace them with newer, spunkier, shinier ones. that's how we move on with the times. we've run out of space. so to give the illusion of improvement, we resort to that.

my church. or rather, the one that i used to attend, has for a number of years now been going on this new extension project. ri plans to revamp its premises by going on a 10milliondollar or so refurbishment thing. in its wake, lt1 will be torn down, and some of the blocks, like the admin one for example. i'm not sure of the details exactly, so don't quote me on what i've typed for the past few lines. but i do know that the look of the school will definitely change so that they can be more "integrated" with rjc. and i remember, even when i was p6, and went for ri's open house - the canteen had just been renovated for a "new look". my primary school has also got into the act, but the company they'd hired went bust halfway. so the construction's in limbo, going nowhere. scaffolding for floors and walls that have yet to be erected, besides in a penniless contractor's mind.

and i'm pretty sure that in the near future, the rjc campus, by then colonised by some other school, will have its own upgrading show. just to show the world that yeah, you know. we're moving with the times man. we've got too much money and so we want to change.

and with it all my memories are stripped away from my existence.

ever remember watching a show or a movie, or reading a book. where the protagonist returns to somewhere that belonged in his/her past... touches a tree. climbs a series of steps. sits on a mouldy bench. sounds romantic, doesn't it. but singapore is not romantic, and i hardly see anywhere in singapore that we can do that. where can we go to say, hey when i was a kid i used to play on this swing! and then proceed to swing on a weathered tire attached to creaky rusty links? whilst reminiscing about past times that have gone by.

the fishpond behind the sanctuary (where we got down and dirty and scooped out the teensy fish that flitted about in the slightly murky water, stepping around so much that it had to be excavated for fear of mosquitoes breeding). the dimly lit concourse (that had its foundations noisily laid in p3 whilst we were playing chinese chess and uno). the field and the stadium steps and the study blocks (hopefully i'm wrong about this last bit). all gone.

and then.. what is there left to hold on to? except the future.. which will also be gone one day.

and that is why i admire wordsworth and his daffodils poem SO much more now. it makes tons more sense than it did last year. or at least, i try to give it some meaning.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

ps. hadri beat me in math lecture test!!! OMFG.

quixoticka eulogized @ 11:18:00 pm