the other day, my dad saw me studying econs. and he was like "you're studying econs right.. so you can answer any question i give you" and before i could reply he said "based on what you know, do you think the economy is getting better or getting worse" and i was thinking like "wtf, it's a freaking macro question la. how the hell do you want me to answer that. and it's not like i'm damn good". plus he ALWAYS asks me such silly questions, and harps on and on about the state of the economy. adults, sad. nothing in their minds except economy, politics, and status.

talking about econs, and sloman, and whatever whatnots. sloman is SLOW MAN. i was so freaking slow in reading it. i spent hours and hours just chugging away thru it all. i decided to rely on like 300+ pages overload of info, when all i needed for the essay question on regulation was a few pages at the back of the notes, which i conveniently neglected. wooohooo~! don't ever read sloman for your exams. the amount of detail it carries is overwhelming, and can kill. read it in your spare time and not as a last minute resort.

that said, i think my essays are majorly screwed. luckily it's only 45%, albeit a bit steep in weightage. and my time management is atrocious. econs wasn't a hard paper at all, but when you spend your time in a 2:1 ratio instead of 1:1 you know you're in deep doo-doo. especially when i wrote 1 side for 1(b) which was a third filled by graphs. as nic would say, go me.

well, slightly ameliorated situation of pain by seeing FDDegs after it all. heh. it isn't just girls who can have eyecandy, you know. -scoffs- no longer a heartthrob, but still gets the blood pumping and churning a wee bit faster. that hair, those eyes.. that smile. ok right, i should stop now before i go overboard. and to think i wanted econs S just to see.. haha. whoopsie. silly me. today has made me realise i'm not even fantastic at the subject. and that my motivation wasn't fully based on interest (i do, unlike most arts students, love the subject) but on other things as well.

oh well, whatever. ENGLISH PC though was a much better experience. i feel fairly confident for it based on like past experiences (i always bask in stale glory) and stuff. i mean the poems were rather straightforward and accessible. i liked the first poem more, it's more beautifully sad. aren't beautiful things always sad. (something like beauty is sad because it's not gonna last forever or some shit like that. where did i see that quote before?) hah anyway i bet no one saw the part about parental sacrifice that's involved in both. ok ok i shouldn't be so cocky especially since pride cometh before a fall. didn't get to put my most important concluding line inside but generally i think it should be fine. i will be very surprised if i do not get at least a 25.

whilst for econs i will be so thankful if i can get a 25... upon 50.

ok all this promos talk is boring me out. gosh, i just jumped onto the "let's whine about our promos proceedings on our blogs in an increased frequency at such an inappropriate time!" bandwagon. S papers are becoming trite as well. i know some people don't really give a shit whether or not they take them but for those who do, really hope you people get them. and i think i should just drop the ambition of wanting to take 2. that desire was so strong la, that after econs today i said to brian "shit now i need to start working for math S" can you believe how ridiculous that sounds, coming from an arts student. i shall be satisfied with my one real love - lit.

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there's a mutual fire burning. and yet. nothing seems to be happening because some IDIOT is holding back. and holding back because of what? i don't know. it's all there. just say the word, say the word. before everything that you could have had, just that once in your lifetime dissipates and disappears in front of ya very eyes. "yes". bloody damn yes! and yet, it does not come out. i do not hear it. i do not hear it from the lips that are so close to my ears.

and even after reaching deep down inside and questioning myself, i'm still clueless.

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4 more days worth of papers to go. it could be so easy, and yet it's so hard. hello people i know you read, please tag. tag. tag. melissa tanag. haha. i think that name rocks. it just rolls of the tongue. tare-nag. tuh-nag. whichever you may please. ugh. gp APQs. damn nonsense man. GP. i shall just pray and hope for the A levels to set a question on reality tv. freak, i'd ace the paper man. the amount of empirical knowledge i have regarding the subject is just out-of-this-world. and i hate it when people use -such- backdated knowledge, like richard hatch. that was so 4 years ago. and there are so many -other- types of reality tv. it's not just survivor. and i don't think it's evil anyway. it will forever be the grand-daddy of reality.

isn't it interesting how blogs with black backgrounds always seem to be incidentally, darker, more inner thoughts and all. (worm, zul, huimin etc) it's so pathetic fallacy, like ok have a black background to suit the kind of emotional and mental afflictions that are posted there. whereas white background blogs are kinda open and more often than not talk about silly everyday stuff and fluffy things that aren't so worrisome. (josh, mel, hadri etc) now don't i and woochiao just buck the trend. and all the ones in between. the non-black non-white ones. haven't found some kind of link. think they reflect more the personality. like camy's pink and lynn's glamourpuss turquoise.

anyway, just found out today that tampines mall pizza hut has one of the worst looking crew ensembles ever. and there's gelare! like how cool is that for a heartlands shopping centre! and that shop assistant at the shop was very cute..

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sheesh. i should be studying for math. what's up with all these poems springing up on blogs man. c'mon c'mon come in comment. really love this one, written last year. using the PC skills i've acquired over the year, i think it's one of my best. and all you thieves get your grubby hands off. if not i'll turn you in! i don't believe in bombardment of elaborate vocab either, if you're reading this kevin. :)

Questions of the Purged

This limbo of not knowing how things'll go
This test I know that'll make me grow
It's purgatory
And it's not long now
Before we've won
The constant refrain
plays on.

The quaint tiny bottles of
Deep black solid liquid -
Am I still stupid?
Sheafs and sheafs
Heaps and heaps
of the modern papyrus
The constant scene
haunts us.

I often dream of heaven and
how it'll be
Gold and silver, sugar and honey
The land of constant sunshine
But the image of heaven is what we imagine
of it to be, not
something we see
For who comes back from the dead to show their grandeur?

What we see are vague auguries
Grandfather stories and grandmother tales
From the ancestors of old
It's what we're told
From this fire of hell
We cross the proverbial fence
The constant hope
gives faith.

Has anyone ever wondered?
Has anyone ever questioned?
Or are the words of the Saints more powerful
more reliable
than the words of God?
Should we now take it to be our revered Bible of truth?
But who are the God, or Gods in this world of uncertainty?
Who dictates?
Who sets the rules?
They are the ones like Adonis
Proud, proud Adonis

Who was a beautiful bitch.

Is that Heaven really heaven?
Or are we stepping out of the fire into the frying pan?
Thinking, this is so refreshing!
The cleansing fire (of torture)!!
The rousing passion (of pain)!!!

That drives us even more
We know, most likely it is all a lie
Even from how little we spy
The mind's eye - knows.
This will be an even greater test

Except for the best - who've always lived in Heaven.

-=MichaeL=- 26 October 2003

quixoticka eulogized @ 1:11:00 am