i think there's a direct relation to my posting and my viewership. interestingly enough, people know exactly when i update my blog, and the number of hits just jumps up, for a few days, then goes back to stagnation again. it's almost as if there's this network of people out there who go, "hey, michael updated already. go check it out!" it's rather freaky. why, did i say something funny? did i say something inspirational? did i make a fool of myself? i don't know. and like ghosts, they come and go, taking away a bit of you, reading your mind like an open book giving nothing in return. intellectual property all gone. i should become an IPOS activist man!

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Threw some chords together, the combination D-E-F
It's who I am, it's what I do,
And I was gonna lay it down for you
I tried to focus my attention, but I feel so A-D-D
I need some help, some inspiration,
But it's not coming easily

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holidays are GOOD. i should get down to work though, had enough fun already. i love my friends alot alot. would you rather have a wide but shallow social circle, or a restricted but deep one?

and i need money, badly. so many things to buy, including headphones, a MuVo, a new handphone, etc. gosh, i'm so materialistic. well, when in rome do as the romans do.

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Trying to find the magic,
Trying to write a classic,
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
Wastebin full of paper,
Clever rhymes, seeya later

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you. trust your intuition and question no more, but just do it. there are unwritten rules of human behaviour, that i must appear aloof. and we shall see how things go. the road to mandalay, the route to reunification will be long, hard and arduous, but it will work... i think. be prepared. i am merely an oyster with a desirable pearl, and you must be the diver to work hard against my resistance. for it is only natural that the pearl shall return to the diver. but you will succeed, if you put in effort. i am waiting.

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These words are my own, from my heart flown,
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,
There's no other way to better say
I love you, I love you

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i don't have to conform to your silly narrowminded ideas about how a person should conduct himself and how to lead his life. i don't need to agree with any of your senseless opinions. i am not weird. you are the weird one, period.

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Read some Byron, Shelly and Keats,
Recited it over a hiphop beat
I'm havin trouble saying what i mean,
With dead poets and a drum machine

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i am not a poet, and neither am i an artist. i am a fraud, a quack, a pseudo. i hardly ever write anymore. i wrote with things that inspired me. but i am selfish, and only certain topics concerned me. again and again, proving that i have not matured at all, and that the little things in life don't really affect me, unlike others who get continually inspired. nothing, i cannot do it over and over again. i find it so hard to write now. the words elude me.

i try, i pretend. it really amounts to nothing. and it is a shocking, horrifying realisation. that everything i thought my life was about, was actually a lie that wasn't true. i am not creative, i am not good with words, i am not literary. i am none of those. there's so much to learn, i am nothing compared to the geniuses who really knew their stuff. i just think i know mine. which isn't even much in the first place.

guess it's time to start again from square one and find out who i really am.

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You know I had some studio time booked,
But i couldn't find the killer hook,
Now you're gonna raise the bar right up,
Nothing I write is ever good enough

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weddings are really inspiring. makes me feel like walking down the aisle. hell, i'd walk down ten, twenty times. if all it means is some simple paperwork and a divorce, why not? alright, i'm totally defeating the purpose of getting married. hahaha.

i want to marry someone who's really great. and then i can invite all my friends and i can see all my spouse's friends and it'd be one big banquet with both our parents happily celebrating the day their children got wedded in perfect bliss and matrimony.

it's like a baptism. an outward show that you're together forever. and it is such a sweet gesture.

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I love you, I love you,
That's all I got to say
Can't think of a better way,
And that's all i got to say

I love you, is that ok?

what a great line, that last one. it's like asking the person you love whether it's alright to. think about what that means, and how sad and pathetic it is. but it's so poignant! omg i'm a sucker for poignancy.

quixoticka eulogized @ 1:58:00 am