i'm really disturbed by something that happened on monday. actually it happened a long time ago, i'm not even sure when, but i only found out on monday.

AT LEAST 300 SMACKEROOS VAPOURISED FROM MY ROOM.

yup, and i told my mom. and she thinks it's probably one of my brother's classmates who came here a few times before. now, this is really weird. this boy borrows money from everyone in class, and more, and never returns it. also, he's big and huge and fat and gross and threatens to beat my brother up, yada. and he calls constantly, like about ten times a day on average, probably more, so much so that we need to get caller id. not only that, he constantly wants to visit.

now, my mother mentioned that she'd caught him snooping around in my room a few times "looking for cds". perhaps that's why this character loves visiting. especially since $100 was in a cd thingum. you know those little bags with a rectangular squarish shape that you zip up and you can put like fifty cds inside? i don't know what on earth you call it, but yes.

anyway, the rest of the money which included at least 250 from my dad for doing well in the Olevels, and miscellaneous rubbish that i'd gotten from CNY the past few years was in my drawer. all gone. only two angpows remained and they were empty. so it's definitely more than 300. probably even reaching five fucking hundred.

the only problem is that i don't even know when i lost the money since this boy was last seen suspiciously in my room "looking, looking" a few weeks ago. when i decided to check out my stash of petty cash on monday, randomly, imagine my shock and horror and disbelief, when i found that it was no longer there. checking again, and again. i felt like FREAKING SILAS MARNER (next thing i know, i'll be finding a baby with blue hair in my cupboard) besides the fact that checking my hoard isn't a daily ritual. but NO, it wasn't there. and guess what. even though it's probably that fellow, i can't say for sure it is since many of my brother's friends have been entering the house. just cos you catch someone in action doesn't mean there aren't any others that could possibly be covertly working and not so dumb to get caught.

it really irks and infuriates me, because this is when a home isn't safe anymore. granted, it is stupid of me to leave money lying around, (Actually only a fraction was in this black cdbag which wasn't even obvious, everything else was in a drawer which isn't open so it's nondescript and enclosed locations but still ultimately got raped. wow.) but hey. you'd think that a home would be safe. it's people that you know. it couldn't be my parents. it couldn't be my brother, he knows the damned consequences of stealing all too well. it couldn't be the maid who comes once a week, she's as honest as.. i dunno. whatever you'd associate with honesty.

so it must be one of his goddamned friends. it SICKENS me to the core that most likely, fat greedy fingers were rifling through my things. private things. letters and notes from people. personal things. UNKNOWN fingers. my mother doesn't even go through my things (or at least she claims she doesn't), and here are these disgusting hands grubbily grabbing everything. i don't even know what he looks like. if he did steal and if it was him and if there were no consequences and all, i'd cleave him, i fucking would if i met him. i'd go all muslim at that point in time and take up a bunch of syariah law codes for my room and chop off his fingers, sorry no his phalanges one by bloody one, choke him with all 28 of them and tie him up and gag him and throw him in a room with hayylon forever and ever. and i'd play terminatorLGC's voice ad nauseum so that it drives him crazy.

and my mother treats it rather lightly, like "let this be a very heavy lesson" for you. and she makes no attempt to help me retrieve it! she doesn't even want to bother calling the boy's mother or something. i only did not lock my money up under the assumption that a HOUSE IS FUCKING SAFE, DAMNIT. and in a bloody condo, no less. i didn't agree to having all these weird adoloscent 14yearolds coming in unannounced, fighting with me for usage of the computer. one's already enough. i wasn't the one who couldn't look after my guests probably and let them roam freely around the house. i wasn't the one who didn't lock all the doors, when in the past we did whenever outsiders came in. i wasn't the one who hides in her room whenever the kids bring visitors so she can't keep watch.

i mean, this isn't something you can prepare for. like you can prevent yourself from walking at a darkalley at 2am in the morning or not carrying excessive amounts of baubles on you, but you can't stop these friends from coming in. i could, actually. if i convince my dad to ban them. but that'd mean my friends can't come either. then again, they rarely do. so it doesn't matter to me. really, i hope they do something about this instead of just letting it go. but so what, it's too late already. even if we do catch whoever it was, it's too late, money's probably spent. ok this is where i am not like silas marner. i want whoever who took it to pay dearly for it. vengeful, i know, who cares. nip them in the bud before they become worse criminals when they grow up. ok i don't think i'm so altruistic here. i want him to FACE SHIT. where is it my fault, seriously. what kind of lesson am i supposed to glean from this? i didn't even do anything wrong! the only real mistake i made was the assumption that a home was safe since you don't expect your family to steal from you, but my family opens me up to vulnerability with the silly things they do. if you can't control your guests, don't invite them! this gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "make yourselves at home".

it hurts, really. that money you scrimped and saved and EARNED (olevelcash) is taken away from you. i would have saved it in the bank, but it's hard to withdraw money as and when you need it when you might need some extras just in case. this is especially so since i don't have a credit/debit/damnit card. maybe i should become like, a policeman or a crime attorney in the future. so i can put all these bastards away in jail. i hate thieves, i really do. i was so unnerved that i didn't bother studying for econs and math that day at all, until like 11pm. i don't want to live like i'm living in a hostel, all over again. having to keep all my valuables tucked away in some corner, where i have to live in eternal paranoia and mistrust.

what on earth would some young teenager need with so much money anyway. eat less, fattybitch. hmm. maybe this is like karma or something. like i hadn't been using the money so God decided that since i wasn't going to use it i might as well return it to the economy. circular flow and all, so this year's J > W. on i don't know. pokemon cards or something, beats me. i hope whatever it's been spent on goes down, or rather up (seems to be faster) in flames.

oooh. my dad says the PS2 has gone missing too! and no one seems to know where it is.

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commontests are crazy lar, i didn't even feel a sense of urgency to the whole thing. DIE. horrendous time management for lit texts, getting jacked by the econs dept with ridiculously heavy weightage on DRQ (just like last year with the 45% for essay), seriously they should standardise it. why do they always pick the component i do worst in. ugh, and "kiss of life" was the most retarded history question i've ever seen before. anyway, i think it's time for me to get tuition. it'd be nice to figure things out for myself and not rely on others, but i just don't have the time to. it seems like those who do take tuition mostly do well. so, seems like a good idea. where can i get good math tuition? preferably one-to-one.

i watched hitch today! kind of gives me hope, hahaha. and i saw brenda, whom i haven't seen in awhile. she's got a boyfriend! man, everyone seems to be getting attached these days. it kinda invokes this fantasy in you that one day you'll end up with a fairytale ending, get married with kids and a lovely spouse there with you to the end. but seems like the postmodernist fairytale ends with a cliffhanger or sudden climax instead of a sunset conclusion. bah. it's like seeing cinderella auction off her glass slipper on ebay. it never really ends, does it. ever notice that fairytales always end with marriage, but not begin with them? except maybe shrek. ahh, but that ain't traditional.

matin, zul and i really like famous amos cookies. which is an astounding feat, since it almost seemed like rum and rais'ems was an unbeatable flavour. hoho. too bad the bishan one closed already. seems like hollandV's the only place to get it, lol.

am switching camps to gmail pretty soon because of the inbox space, but i'm pretty annoyed at the fact that i have like 40-50 people on my msn list that i just want to get rid off and delete. i don't even talk to them at all. some of them i haven't said a WORD to in years! but how do you tell them that? how do you say, "hey can i delete you" without appearing offensive. and if i don't add some but add others (like exclassmates) it'd look really bitchy. i wish i didn't have to do the mass adding thing, it's really dumb. if only they'd delete me first or something. then i wouldn't feel so guilty returning the favour.

anyway, i like littledidi. hahaha. goodboy! =D
quixoticka eulogized @ 11:58:00 pm